What happens in Vegas… part 3

5 Oct

Our main objective in going to Vegas was two-fold:

1) Yummy food

2) Chillin at the pool

So Friday morning, when we opened our bleary eyes, I all but jumped out of bed and started packing the tote bag. Cute as hell cowboy hat for me: check. Baseball hat for the hubby: check. Coppertone suntan spray: check (it’s the best!) Books, blistex, etc: check.

The pool at the Wynn is pretty cool. However, the first day, we mistakenly took up some lounge chair at the edge of the pool that would face the sun ALL DAY LONG. As sweat trickled down my face, taking with it the carefully applied makeup and sunscreen, I decided to sit the other direction on Saturday. Nothing worse than a 40-something gal with red splotchy overly moist skin.

Friday’s are quiet pool days apparently. Except for the over-zealous and quite energetic ‘athletes’ who decided there’s no better time or place to get some exercise than to slap the water open handed near the hungover couple nursing mojitos. Cup your hand lady and you might actually move through the water as opposed to splashing the crap out of innocent (ok, not so innocent) onlookers.

I absolutely did not want to stay out late though Friday night. The idea was: chill Friday after Thursday’s clubbing and then get a good night’s sleep on Friday so we could hit it hard on Saturday. Mmmm hmmm.  After dinner, around 10:15p, we get a text from “Tony”. Wants to hook up for drinks.

No way Jose am I going dancing again – we can meet in a lounge somewhere. Except we didn’t – meet in a lounge. Tony said something like “let’s meet at the Bank” and we said “OK”. And we got into the cab at the Mandalay Bay (which is where we had dinner: Aureole), and the excursion goes like this:

Me: “We’re going to the Bank.”

Wahid the cabbie (his name was Wahid): “Which one?”

Me: “The nightclub.”

Wahid: {rolls down his window and yells at another cabbie} “Do you know where the bank is?”

Cabbie: {mumbling unintelligibly} “blah wah wah blah yep” and nods his head.

Wahid: Nods his head.

Me: “Do you know where you’re going?”

Wahid: “Venetian.”

The hubby and I start furiously googling the Bank but it’s too late. $8.50 later, we arrive at the Venetian just in time to get our google result: the Bank is at the Bellagio. Which I believe is the opposite direction. After $15 more, we arrive at the Bank. It’s like 11:00p now and I’m really rethinking the wisdom of being out.

The hubby texted Tony to let him know we were here, and eventually we found each other. Tony is a charming and likeable guy. I didn’t really talk much to Tina other than to find out that she and Tony are only dating. After a marriage gone wrong, she is in no hurry to settle down again. Mmmm hmmmm.

The first thing I noticed that seemed hinky to me was that Tina dances quite nasty. Now if you’ve seen me dance, I’m no shy flower. I throw my hands in the air and wave em like I just don’t care. But I noticed that girlfriend was throwing something else up in the air and hmmm wriggling it. OK, she’s having a helluva time. You go girl. Channel that inner crazy bitch.

In her short short mini dress, the big problem was that she would drop it drop it low low and spread em. Did I mention we were on the second floor balcony?

But we knew for sure something was off kilter when Tony put his arm around my waist and winked. You know that wink. Like “how you doing?”

The hubby and I looked at each other, the dawning of understanding on our faces, and ran out of there faster than Heidi Montag after looking at herself in the mirror. What were we thinking?

Well, we dodged that bullet. Schwew.

Stay tuned – part 4 is the final chapter and we’ll share our oh-so-very-European pool experience. Rock on Vince Neil wannabe.

One Response to “What happens in Vegas… part 3”


  1. What happens in Vegas… part 2 « Boldly Mocking - January 22, 2011

    […] Stay tuned for part 3… […]

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