Concealing the evidence

24 Oct

Ever notice how hard it is to wash your face with a taped nose? Well, trust me it is. Which got me to thinking.

Doc wants me to come all the way back to Richmond on Tuesday to do a “check it out” look-see up my nose holes and remove the splint. Uh huh – Doc, I’ve been doing a “check it out” since I removed the 5″ tampon on Wednesday, trust me, there’s nothing but disgusting to look-see up there.

If you are ok with me pulling the packing out of my sinus and friggin throat, and being careful not to put objects up there, then you should allow me to remove that tape from OUTSIDE MY NOSE all by myself. It’s seriously pissing me off.

And besides, I’m a little tired of looking like I just had a nose job. Yes, technically, it was a nose job, but I’m a super control freak and won’t let anything come flying at my face right now (sorry hubby.)

So I gets to thinking… Yeah, I gotta see Doc on Tuesday – but what would happen if I sorta accidentally on purpose got that tape to miraculously come off before then? And I know how to do it too. Steam and patience. Like opening a sealed envelope. Not that I had any experience doing that. Unh uh, not me.

But if I don’t remove the tape, that means I get to drive out to Richmond on Tuesday and walk through the Medical Office Building where everyone is already curiously thinking “what the frick is wrong with you” anyway – only to sit in the surgical waiting area with a bunch of other surgical returns all wondering “what procedure did they just have”. It’s not hard to guess what I just had – even though the guess would be WRONG. They fixed my breathing!! I swear!!

So now, I have to weigh the consequence of appeasing my vanity against a scolding from Doc.  Hmmm….

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