Glam rockers don’t die

27 Nov

The first time we heard Christmas Eve in Sarajevo, we fell in love with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO). What was not to love? Beautiful music with a hard rock edge. I still love it.

So when friends and family told us we HAD to see them live, that their stage show was amazing, full of lights and totally entertaining, we couldn’t wait to get tickets.

The opportunity finally arrives to see them. Tickets were $70 each and we brought HIM and HER with us. Feeling full of holiday cheer and a bottle of wine, we take our seats.

Just as I get settled, this kid behind me starts screaming like he’s about to see Justin Bieber. I’m so startled I spill my plastic cup of cheap white wine on my pant leg.  After 5 minutes of that crap, I turned around with a look that must have scared both Mom and Brat cuz they went from woohoo-ing to glancing nervously away.

So the orchestra starts filing onto the stage, all 8 of them. That’s it? Where’s the rest? This is an Orchestra yes?

But then, the music and lights start and I start tapping my booted foot (I decided to let my 4.5″ stiletto boots off restriction after the whole shitty shoes incident.)

It’s then that the electric guitarist and violinist start descending down to the stage, but with more theatrics than the Black Eyed Peas at the AMAs this year.

My mouth dropped open and my eyes went wide with confusion. The guitarist dude and violinist dudette, all dressed in pleather and way too much eyeliner, began competing for best of the worst electric solos. While in their boxes from 20 feet above the stage. The hubby, a former hair band rocker back in the 80s looked like someone had tossed monkey shit in the air.

Two more glam rockers with electric guitars and long coats joined them on stage. Reminded me of a cross between Poison and Spinal Tap. Cept with bad acoustics. And higher heels.

I think to myself, so this is where all the glam rockers went… they joined the TSO circus.

Did I mention these rockers are like over 40 years old?

They all began tossing their hair madly, and I’m thinking at their age, they gonna break their necks. I swear at one point dude 1 and dude 2 and the violin chick were having a “hair toss” off. I don’t know who won that round, but my vote goes to the violin chick.

Between theatrics – errr songs – this big bald black man with a very deep voice comes to the stage and reads poetry of some sort. I suppose it’s story telling?? Problem is, I don’t get it. Much like opera, I don’t know what the eff is being said and I’m struggling to even care.

It’s at this moment I can hear HER laughing out loud. The hubby is crouched so low in his chair I think he’s trying to disappear into the floor.

We whisper to each other, one at a time and back and forth, like school girls sharing a secret – and decide to leave as soon as the next song starts… But it doesn’t stop. They just keeping trading out spandex clad long haired old rockers and the song keeps going like the Eveready freaking bunny for more than 30 minutes. I give up, stand up, and walk out.

There was just nothing glamtastic about this show. It was just sad. I look back at the kid behind me and he looks embarrassed now. Poor kid.

7 Responses to “Glam rockers don’t die”

  1. Fabulously Awkward November 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm #

    Yikes. $70 for THAT? At least you got a funny blog posting out of it. 🙂

  2. Boldly Mocking November 29, 2010 at 2:59 pm #

    Thanks – that and memories that make me sorta barf up in my mouth a little…

  3. Holly B November 29, 2010 at 4:50 pm #

    This is why I prefer to only listen to them.. somethings are better left UNseen!! =]

    • Boldly Mocking November 29, 2010 at 4:54 pm #

      Holly – I’ve learned my lesson – but it reminded me that just because you have binoculars, you shouldn’t look into people’s bedrooms unless you forgot to take your meds.

  4. Jessica November 30, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    First: the name of your blog cracks me up…being that my last name happens to be Bold (for serious)

    Second: peeking in windows…meds or not…can sometimes change your whole life…or at least your outlook on life….

    • Boldly Mocking December 1, 2010 at 7:55 am #

      Thanks Jessica – what a great coincidence! My last name means nothing which is a bummer. And I hear you about peeking. Glimpses of insanity are okay, but wide-eyed viewing of train wrecks is to be avoided!


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