Nice chew toy…

12 Feb

I had martini’s the other night with my friend Inga.

She told me a story about what happened the other night to a friend of hers.  It’s a cautionary tale in many ways.

Like most single gals, Betty is kinda like Wonder Woman: she works, pays her mortgage, cooks, cleans, kicks ass and loves jewelry. She has good friends and her parents are even nearby.

So in Wonder Woman’s very busy world, she sometimes has to squeeze in some special “personal” time. If you catch my drift… And that time was around 7:30p the other night.

It was also about that time when Wonder Woman’s parents decided to make an unannounced visit. The quick knock knock on the front door followed by the parents letting themselves in yelling out “Betty, where are you?” had Betty flying off the bed faster than Wonder Woman fighting off bullets with those awesome bracelets.

With a zip, tuck and tug, she flew downstairs. Patted her hair. Chatted with the folks who said they just popped over on their way to dinner, would she like to join? She didn’t have a chance to answer this…

Oh, did I mention Wonder Woman has a dog? A big black lab. Calls her Sunshine. She’s an inquisitive and loving doggie. Loves to play. Ummm hmmm.

While Wonder Woman was distracted by her parents, little miss Sunshine decided it was time for a game of fetch. And she knew just the perfect stick to retrieve.

Running into Wonder Woman’s bedroom, Sunshine spots her target, gleefully grabs it, and makes a mad dash downstairs to get the humans to toss it for her. “Look at me! Look at me!” she cries to them. So they did.

“What the ach?”

Sunshine is sporting a 6″ black sex toy gripped between her doggie lips, drool kinda dangling off one side. Wonder Woman, since she really doesn’t telepath with her dog, instead yelled “Sunshine!”

And Sunshine promptly sat down, dropped her new big black dong chew toy between them all, and wagged her tail furiously. And barked.

At first stunned by the fact that there was big black dong chew toy resting at their feet, nobody moved. Then Mom starts to bend down to retrieve it when Wonder Woman quickly grabbed it and tossed it out the back door. Prayed to the Amazon Gods that her folks didn’t actually see what it was.

I say look at the bright side. It could have been worse. At least it wasn’t vibrating.

5 Responses to “Nice chew toy…”

  1. Nicki February 12, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    OMG that would totally happen to me. Love this!

  2. Deanna February 13, 2011 at 7:12 am #

    Awesome post!! I couldnt help but laugh while reading it! I would be mortified!!!

  3. raquel February 14, 2011 at 3:48 am #

    This is what dreams are made of!!!!

  4. Fabulously Awkward February 14, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Hahahah. Hilarious. Tuck that shit in a drawer, girl. 🙂 (As an aside, how can I get a friend named Inga? What a great name!)

  5. Chella February 15, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    I’m glad I don’t have a dog. I do remember parading my friends into my parents room to proudly show them my Mom & dad’s vibrating bed, though. I was about 9.

    But really, what were they thinking getting one of those when they had 4 kids.

    I have to go wash now.

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