Tag Archives: Pets

Take it off

16 Nov

My dog is OOOOLLLLDDDD. And CCCCOOOOLLLLDDD.

Buddy is now 14-1/2 years old. That’s 101 to you and me. His eyes are all cloudy and his hearing is shot. He sleeps 23-1/2 hours a day but for those few minutes he’s awake, he’s the cutest freakin puppy there is.

His nicknames are Bud, Budster, and Yard Sale. Why Yard Sale you ask? Since you asked…

You know what a baby deer looks like when he tries to get up the first time? That’s Bud every time he shakes himself. Splat.

Last winter, my little Yard Sale started shivering so hard I thought he’d finally explode – so I bought two plain sweaters for him – one red, one brown. I wanted black but apparently that’s just “not a color parents buy” according to the fashion nazi’s at Petco.

For the record, I like buying stuff. Especially shoes. But for my dogs – whom I would do almost anything for – I refuse to truss them up with silly freaking burberry inspired patterns or long capes with matching hats and matching shoes. If you do, stop it right now.

It’s probably his last winter with us, so one day, after drinking too much wine at lunch (woops, they see right through me), I found this very cute and snuggly super soft angora sweater. And one for Buddy too. No hat, no shoes. Bummer for me.

Because I make fun of idiots who dress their dogs up in silly outfits with bows, I felt like maybe I’d have to stop doing that now – then quickly tossed that thought aside.

You see, unless your dog is naturally hairless or is on his last paws, show some respect and take that stupid shit off him. WTF? Who dresses their dog like this?

Are those freaking mary-jane paw-socks? What?

Seriously? A dog-kini?

My little Yard Sale’s days are numberedĀ and all I want for him is to feel safe, warm, and loved. If lazing around in a fuzzy angora super soft sweater will keep him warm and cozy now that it’s cold, then I’m all for it.

But I’ll still laugh at you if I see your perfectly healthy dog sporting designer duds on the trail. Just saying.

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